This week I was going to write about my season edit, but then something much more exciting happened which resulted in my having to go to minor injuries. So SPOILER ALERT there will be some GRAPHIC IMAGES in this post. The other spoiler is that you may have read Phil Cassabon’s blog about how he broke his jaw this week already. This isn’t as good as that.
Before I get down to the nitty gritty, I’ll give you the back story, which as you may remember from GCSE English, is very important if you want to create a good narrative:
So, it all started last winter when some very good friends of ours decided to club together and buy a trampoline because they’re super fun and you can practice tricks on them, and it was all good until one of them fell awkwardly on it and broke his ankle – then no one really wanted to use it anymore and at the end of the winter they sold it to my boyfriend for much less than they bought it for. Like, you know, in a horror film when someone buys a house for really cheap because a whole family was murdered there and then it turns out to be haunted, surprise surprise.
But anyway, we had the trampoline, and as some of our friends live in the same apartment block as us, we put it up in the field outside (despite some dirty looks from our neighbours) and started practicing our backflips and other such tricks in preparation for winter. Now I hate doing backflips; on the trampoline I always travel backwards and on skis I always feel like I’m going to hit my head on the lip of the jump (which obviously means I’m doing it wrong), so when the trampoline came along I thought, right, I can finally learn to do it properly! And everything was going swimmingly, until…
I did exactly what I was trying not to do and travelled backwards. I thought I was going backflip right off the trampoline, which in hindsight probably would have been better because then I would have landed in amongst the nice knee length grass and pretty flowers. Instead, I’m not really sure what I did, but something happened around the spring area and I rolled over and was about to make a joke about shin bang when I looked at my leg and saw what can only be described as a giant vagina, complete with a nice view of my shin bone in the middle (whey!).
After some expert emergency medical care from my friends, it was time to go to the doctors, which was very exciting, because despite being incredibly clumsy and doing lots of jumps and stuff on skis, I’ve never had to get stitches before. In fact, I’ve never really had a serious injury, which I think is mainly down to being overly cautious learner/a massive pussy/very lucky, so the whole thing was a bit of an adventure, complete with photos and car songs.
So 9 stitches and 200 Euros later, my boyfriend (who sustained an unfortunate bum crack injury over the winter) admitted he felt quite smug to find out that I’m not invincible, which got me thinking… I can’t really blame my complete inability on the cursed and obviously faulty trampoline, (as much as I would like to) so does this mean that I’m going to become more of a wet blanket than I already am? Am I going to be afraid of doing backflips forever? I’d like to think that now I’m going to be even more determined and will be smashing out a whole variety of inverts by the time winter comes around again.
Watch this space…
Thank you to Sam, Lois, Rob, Jasmine, Pedro and Ben for great crisis management and treatment of minor injuries, and all the nice staff at the Les Gets medical centre, even though you held me hostage until I could pay.
Photos by Lois Vero